Here at the Review, we don’t run a “gift guide,” as such—though we do have our special holiday offers. Even so, I’m here to solve all your holiday present questions. I’m out of ideas! You say. What do I do? Where do I go? How do I live? All these questions have a single answer.

The answer is this image of a dog in a fez and lounging pajamas, reading a newspaper. 

I can detect your skepticism. Perhaps I must repeat the crucial information: it is a dog, in a fez, reading a newspaper. 

The image comes via one of the Internet’s most useful sites, Free Vintage Illustrations, in which the webmaster has taken the trouble to find antique clip art from all over the place and sorted and captioned the images in an informative and entertaining fashion. (The “Imaginative Illustration” category alone is worth your time.)

Now, what to do with it? Why, anything! Go to a site like Zazzle and put your be-fezzed dog on a T-shirt, a mug, some stationery, a phone case. Add an inscrutable caption: I think “As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly” is always apropos, but have fun with it! 

Or, you know, there’s always a nice gift subscription. But really, isn’t that even better when read in—get this—a custom fez embroidered with a dog, in a fez, reading?

You’re welcome.

Sadie Stein is contributing editor of The Paris Review, and the Daily’s correspondent.